Hey everyone!
I’ve had a regular practice for over a year now, since first lockdowns (and about a year a few years before that!) and it has been transformative. I moved through some creative blocks and accomplished a Herculean project during some of the hardest periods of covid. its helped me cope with isolation and at times had me loving solitude. I have been able to sense a positive mental change, for sure.
Right now, while I am maintaining a practice, I feel very stuck. I keep going back and fourth between trying to do the element weeks in Primer and PMM. I’m doing it, and the skills I’ve built up get me there when I’m in trance, but no real improvement in my day to day. it’s a struggle Right now. And I’m wondering… do I try to magic myself out of this low period? Or do I take some time to surrender? Generally I’ve stuck with the idea that when I am not Willful, I pray, and when I am , I do magic. i am currently doing magic even though I am not feeling good. But sometimes I’m afraid that my mindset isnt right for it right now (incredibly negative and cynical. I’m not always like this.) and I start to wonder whether feeling and thinking negatively means I have not succeeded. But I also feel like I shouldn’t stop…how do you take a break while remaining committed?
I know how positIvely my practice has affected my life, so I want to maintain while not pushing too hard or damaging magic I’ve already done. what do others so magically during hard mental times? When you’re not feeling particularly willful faithful spiritual and are having unwanted thoughts on a regular basis? The psalms address this alot so perhaps I should continue with those. But Any advice would be appreciated. (Hoping to get to a therapist soon, btw. Also I’m sure I’ll be fine, just asking for ad from some of you who maybe have been here before.)
Blessed be everyone. and thanks Ariel for all the rollout of quality content as always. ✨🙏🏻✨
Nature always renews me, if I'm stuck or if I'm going through hard times. I really love walking in woods and or being in the ocean. It really uplifts my spirits. :)
Even before reading all your post I had this feeling Andi share it as it came in my mind.You need rest....Just that ..slept sleep sleep.....mentally overloaded ....
Hi Fightclub! Thanks so much for your response here. Reading it initially hit very close to home - because you hit the nail on the head. Before covid I was moving away from some communities I was in but that I didn’t find particularly nourishing. Now that things are getting back to normal, I find myself in the position of needing to start over when it comes to being out in the world, and have been very isolated the majority of the time. My first JKD class is tonight and 5 minutes away from my house :) so I am doing exactly your suggestion! I’ve got some issues with community and it continues to come up over and over… chances are I’m getting some hints from God and they’re just getting louder and more obvious. Hopefully I will cultivate some confidence and I can move further “ into the courts” as the psalms might say. Have been working 116 and the bits about putting yourself out there have been sticking in my mind. “18 I will pay my vows unto the Lord now in the presence of all his people”. So… I’ve gotta get out among his people. Thank you, you totally helped click this in place for me. It’s going to be challenging but I’m taking steps to coax myself back into community. Bless you Fightclub!! 🖤
Part 2- I should add that a self-imposed covid isolation shouldn't keep you from community. At the height of the contagion in my city, I only practiced with other martial artist outside in parks, doubly masked and careful to make adjustments to our training in order to be safe. I also found an amazing virtual book club that lasted 6 months and gave me 2 local friends who have become true allies. I signed up for Starhawk's virtual rituals (Earth Activists), which is incredible, and still powerful even though we were all over the planet but still coming together to do magic and express our despair and anger, and later .... hope and resolve. There is so much out there, Dot. You don't have to be alone.
Hi Dot! I have been through a lot during this pandemic as well. I won't go into it here, but basically I had to move and start over in a new state where I didn't know anyone. Then I injured myself and lost my new job, and wasn't getting anywhere with my spiritual work. My tarot readings were strong, but I had trouble with the more disciplined practice of meditation and commitment. For me, at least, when something isn't working, that means Spirit/Goddess/The Force is waiting for me to try a different tack. So I change course a bit and wait and see. I don't give up - that's important.
It sounds to me like your mind-body-spirit connection needs a reboot, especially Body to help take you out of your head and thoughts. If you have community, lean on that as much as you need to. Maybe they are open to group work. If you don't, and I did not, I recommend martial arts. Or anything where you are physically aligning with cosmic forces. Yoga enthusiasts, hikers, even certain classes at fitness centers can give you the camaraderie and energy to launch off the plateau that you are currently stuck on. Many of those people are overjoyed to be able to share what they've discovered about being "in the flow". Reach out and ask. And if you've never been in a dojo before, don't let that stop you. It is one of the best places to get centered and connect to your wise body. I promise that you will find clarity and more purpose in your magical practice.