Hey Shannon, I'm a little more than halfway through. Just thought I'd update ya. It's going well. Sometimes I cry a lot, sometimes I don't. Some people I feel compassion for once I'm done all the fact finding and forgiving...some people... not so much. To the point where I think I may have to dedicate more time to those people in particular, because I can feel that I have not actually forgiven them. There was a compassion rush that I felt really let me know I had actually done it, that was missing in some places. I probably shouldn't tell myself that's the only way I know it's done, but. It's not really concrete work, so it can be confusing. And obviously...hard to have compassion for some people. But I do want to get there. The forgiveness I'm doing is quite different than yours from the looks of it - but it does come down to forgiving yourself for sure. The big thing I'm getting from it so far is recognizing how all these people, and my relationships and dynamics with them, are connected - and that I did participate and do wrong somehow in almost all the situations. And since I can only control the part I'm playing... gotta cut myself off from that role! I feel that I'm going to be able to smell bullshit from a mile away both in myself and others and will be able to be above the crap, you know? Powerful stuff. I've been using your method everyday! So thanks for sharing!

Its so not easy work but so worth it and believe me its still ongoing!

It was really 2 parts for me. On the one hand the nurses were easier because they were strangers but were very cruel to her. The family stuff was more difficult because everything that I thought I knew about them was turned upside down. The whole thing was a long process and something I worked on every day. When I was angry I would write horrible, nasty mean letters to everyone I thought wronged us--then rip them up. I would make lists of things that were facts vs my opinions. Like, "I can't believe that a-hole left my mother out in the hall half dressed (there was more I won't get into details) like she was a nothing because she hates us." I would rewrite it as a fact. "I found mom in the hall half dressed and crying" Somehow, taking my feelings & opinions of the situation helped with the sting. I did a LOT of waning moon flips on my feelings about a situation. Sometimes I did white light meditations around all of us-my mom, my family, the nurses. What this work showed me was that at the heart of it I had to forgive myself--everyone else was just reflecting this back at me. I had not been perfect, I had not always been there who am I to demand everyone else be the same. I knew that all of this worked when I met one family member for coffee, I poured my heart out to her about everything. All she said was, "now Shannon you know none of that is true". It shocked me, I cried but then that was really the end of the worst of it. I am sorry to go on so much & I don't know if any of that helps you!

I personally feel that we have to allow ourselves to feel all the feelings because if we just "white light" the situation it will come back to be dealt with. One of my very favorite things Ariel said was about the dirty casserole dish that gets so much worse when you start cleaning it but then it its all better soon.

This is really interesting Shannon. Especially this allowing the anger. Did you have any magical practice related to that specifically? I'm just thinking of how to effectively do this - and that maybe there's a way I can incorporate that into the process. Like releasing myself into the anger before starting on forgiveness - or is that what forgiveness is? Thanks so much for this response, it's really useful. I'm trying to take all the ick out of these situations so I can look at them soberly and learn from them. Blessed be Shannon and thanks so much. 🌟

Hi Dot-I have done quite a bit on forgiveness. When my mom died I had a lot of anger towards the nurses who mistreated her at her nursing home & hospital and towards other family members around how they handled it. It was really eating me alive and I knew I had to do something and "sending love & light" just didn't work because I wasn't there yet and made me feel even worse. My advice would be to do the work but don't force it beyond what you can handle at the moment. I tried to rush through the whole process, did not allow myself to feel the anger towards them and I think that delayed the real forgiveness and healing that would eventually follow. You got this!